Everybody has various expectations for the future when it comes to dating and relationships. others people decide to stay single, others get married, and some spend a lot of time in a love relationship but never plan to tie the knot. Some women refuse to get married for a variety of reasons, from preferring to concentrate on other things to just not wanting to be married.
In fact, the percentage of American adults who do not live with a spouse or partner increased from 39 percent in 2007 to 42 percent in 2017, according to the Pew Research Center. Additionally, as per the 2017 statistics, 61% of persons under 35 do not have a spouse or partner, which is a decrease from 56% a decade earlier. Therefore, single individuals are not quite alone—in fact, it appears that this trend is gaining traction.
Naturally, there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to marriage as each individual must determine what is best for them. According to statistics, an increasing number of individuals are opting to remain single, according to relationship expert and psychologist Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, who spoke with Bustle. “For some, the decision to avoid repeating bad experiences is a deliberate one, influenced by their own and their parents’ broken relationships.” She continues by saying that remaining single for additional reasons include not wanting children, not believing in “The One,” and retaining one’s sense of independence, freedom, and control over one’s own life and resources.
“Most people are content and happy being single, so there’s no need to complicate things and ruin what’s working,” adds Hall.
Indeed, many women have distinct motives for not want to get married. Women explain their reasons for not wanting to get married below.
1: Elisa, 28
“I grew up in a (normal) happy family, but many of my friends were from divorced houses. Naturally, throughout the years, I’ve witnessed a lot of people cheat or be cheated on, so I don’t think it makes sense to stick with someone forever, even in such circumstances. For those who want to celebrate it, I do, however, totally accept the concept of marriage; for me, it simply seems like a title and a joke.
A few years ago, I came very close to being married, but the thought of being committed truly bothered me. I’m glad that didn’t happen now because I would have felt guilty about getting married even if it wasn’t my dream. I also don’t intend to be married because of the associated expenses, attire, locations, food and drink, and rings; it all simply seems too frivolous to constitute a “love commitment.”
2: Leslie, 39
“I’ve been seeing my fiancé for ten years, and I don’t want to be married. Indeed, I’m engaged; I wanted to see how it would feel. It feels very different to me from what it feels like to be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other. I’ve been really enjoying the increased sense of love and dedication, and I have all the titles I need right now. Simply said, I don’t want to get married; it’s not something I need to do or want to do in my life. Additionally, I don’t feel comfortable hosting a costly or lavish celebration in my honor since I know I couldn’t manage the stress of organizing a “perfect day.” I understand that I could go to City Hall or elope, but once more, marriage won’t make our relationship better. I Even if it seems cliche, all I want is to be happy.
3: Kelly, 56
I’ve been traveling full-time for the past nine years. I take care of people’s dogs while they are on vacation by housesitting (I even published a book on it!). I do this for free at someone else’s house. I have lived in several places, including London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Gibraltar, all across Africa, Hanoi, Osaka, Kuala Lumpur, and even the Chinese town of Ya’an! I housesit every spring in Mexico, where I am right now. It’s a fantastic lifestyle, but it would be really challenging if I were married. I’ve never been married and I don’t intend to stop traveling the world alone right now.
4: Nina, 30
People are usually rather surprised to hear that I am a Christian of Nigerian heritage when I tell them that I have no desire to get married. Because marriage and motherhood are viewed as the ultimate forms of femininity in both of these deeply patriarchal cultures, a woman’s value is often determined by her relationship to men. This can be so great that it eclipses any other remarkable accomplishments she may have made in the past or even in the future. Because of these religious, cultural, and societal constructions, I grew up seeing many female role models give up on their aspirations, remain in violent marriages, or function from a place of low self-worth.
This is why, very early in life, marriage (or the notion that my value, purpose, or pleasure should be correlated with a man) began to represent imprisonment, limitation, and identity loss. According to Jessica Knoll, the best-selling author of The Luckiest child Alive, “my fairy tale ending involved a pantsuit, not a wedding dress, ever since I was a little girl.” Achieving success means doing well enough to gain my freedom in the end.
5: Hazel, 31
“My girlfriend and I don’t want to be married, even if we can (finally!) get married. We both think that we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that we’re devoted to one other. Furthermore, we would rather to use the money we would have spent on a celebration for anything else!
6: Christine, 35
“I would have to inherit my partner’s debt if we were to get married. Thank you not at all. Our funds should be kept entirely apart, please.
7: Angela, 33
“I have no desire to get married. Being an only kid growing up, I’ve never really felt the need or want for a spouse. Even though I’ve been in relationships that equal your favorite romance story and had sorrows that Adele could never have sang about, I’m always happiest when I’m alone myself. Although I know many nomad couples, I too am a digital nomad, and I genuinely believe that having a partner would just complicate everything.
8: Kaley, 31
I’ve been seeing my guy for nine years this year. For background, we were separated by distance for almost four years, beginning when I met him as a freshman in college and he resided in a different city. We do not want children and are not religious, therefore he was my first and last serious boyfriend. This year, buying a house together has seemed like our interpretation of marriage or a wedding. It seems like a greater accomplishment and a significant turning point than being married could ever be.
Contrary to popular belief among people who are unfamiliar with us, he is not “dragging his feet” or showing a lack of devotion, which is not the cause of our predicament. To be more precise, I’ve “led the charge” in dismissing marriage as a possibility. I believe that part of the reason he and I don’t feel pressured or desire to get married is because of the self-assurance and independence I gained from being in a long-distance relationship. We trust each other completely and know each other so well that I’m sure being married wouldn’t push us into a closer or more personal relationship. I wouldn’t feel any more “taken care of” or “safer” if I were married to him.
9: Stefanee, 28
“My girlfriend and I have been together for over four years. Not only is the custom of marriage extremely archaic, but it is also rife with misogyny. By asking a woman’s parent(s) for permission before approaching her, a guy is effectively treating her like a property. He then goes on to “buy” her off by promising her a pricey gift—a ring—in exchange for her lifelong allegiance and last name. Aside from the misogyny, I don’t think my partnership with someone else should entail state legislation. I would never judge friends or relatives for getting married, and I’m fine for celebrating love. However, I don’t find marriage to be romantic, and it’s not a custom I choose to follow.
10: Shannyn, 31
“I called off my engagement to a severe dishonest person in 2013, when I was engaged. I now see a man for the rest of my life, and we are in a great relationship, but I have no desire to be married. We’ve been dating for nearly three years, and everyone always wants to know when we’re getting married! I recently purchased my first home—it’s mine!—and I have a reputation that includes degrees from my previous name, which I don’t want to change now that I’m older than thirty. I’m happy emotionally, spiritually, and in all other ways as long as we keep our finances apart. Financially speaking, marriage wouldn’t improve our situation, and I haven’t been able to find any evidence to support the advantages it would have for us other than emotional ones.
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