7 Unexpected Connection Styles to Revitalize Your Intimate Routine

If you feel like your intimate life has hit a rut—or see one looming on the horizon—exploring new connection styles is one of the smartest, most proactive moves you can make for your relationship. As relationship counselor Eric Marlowe Garrison correctly notes, even if only one partner is feeling “less enthusiastic,” it impacts the entire dynamic, much like a bicycle with a flat tire. The intimate space is meant to be a zone of shared pleasure and discovery, but it can easily atrophy into comfortable, yet ultimately boring, predictability.

Trying out new connection styles is an effective way to keep both partners engaged, communicating, and excited. While the approaches found online sometimes seem intimidating or bizarre, the visual awkwardness of an unfamiliar position often belies its intense effectiveness and surprising comfort. The goal is not acrobatics; the goal is novelty, deep sensation, and shared vulnerability.

Don’t be put off by the odd-looking ones. Some connection styles that appear complex can actually be fantastic once you give them a chance. These seven styles are guaranteed to disrupt your routine, focusing on intimacy, control, and new angles of deep sensation.

I. Approaches Maximizing Intimacy and Close Contact

These styles prioritize sustained, intense physical and emotional contact, moving beyond the functional rhythm of traditional positions to focus on deep immersion and vulnerability.

1. The Seated Embrace: The Ultimate Act of Closeness

The Seated Embrace is a highly advanced position for emotional connection, demanding vulnerability and delivering an exceptionally deep sensation.

• How to Achieve It: Your partner sits cross-legged (in the tailor position or a modified lotus) on the bed or floor. You then slowly lower yourself onto them, guiding them inside. Once comfortable, wrap your arms and legs securely around them, creating a unified, compact shape.
• Why It’s Actually Great: While difficult to get into, the payoff is immediate: it provides incredibly intense contact due to the slight pressure created by your weight, maximizing sensation for the engaging partner. Crucially, it maximizes the opportunity for external pleasure point stimulation by allowing the receiving partner to rub or press externally. It is also deeply intimate, forcing both partners to be physically close and connected—a position of total, supported vulnerability. The high amount of sustained skin contact triggers a flood of oxytocin, the bonding hormone.

5. The Proposal: Communication as Arousal

The Proposal is a deceptively simple, yet highly potent, intimate style because it forces an element of negotiation and teamwork, making the process of getting aligned part of the arousal.

• How to Achieve It: You both start on your knees, facing each other. Your partner then raises one knee up (the “proposal” stance) and guides themselves toward you. You then spread your legs slightly, and the key is to consider using a pillow underneath you to adjust the height and angle for the perfect fit.
• Why It’s Actually Great: It’s incredibly close and intimate, demanding communication (which is appealing in itself) to get the final angle right. Once connected, you can enjoy the satisfying feeling of being physically wrapped up together. The close quarters encourage whispered affirmations and synchronized breathing, enhancing the emotional bond. The stability of the knees, supported by a prop, allows the partners to focus on the intimate rhythm without worrying about balance.

II. Utilizing Control and Unconventional Angles

These approaches put the receiving partner fully in charge of speed, depth, and rhythm, leading to focused sensation and a powerful shift in the typical dynamic.

2. Side Straddle: The Freedom of Movement

The Side Straddle introduces a free-moving sensation that is completely distinct from the predictable rhythm of the classic Rear Entry Approach, giving control to the top partner.

• How to Achieve It: Your partner lies flat on the bed. You then straddle one of their legs (or both, depending on comfort) while facing away from them. Lower yourself down and guide yourself inside (moisture product is your absolute friend here).
• Why It’s Actually Great: This style puts the receiving partner completely in control of the pace and angle while giving your partner an excellent view of their body. The movement feels expansive and free, allowing for deep, circular motions that target different internal pleasure zones than the standard approach. It’s an easy, low-effort way to introduce the visual thrill of a rear-facing position without the full complexity of other elevated options.

7. The Splitter: Transforming a Classic

The Splitter is an easy way to dramatically alter the geometry of a classic position, instantly disrupting predictability and maximizing sensation for the receiver.

• How to Achieve It: Start in the Classic Face-to-Face Approach. The engaging partner then sits back on their heels (or kneels up). The receiving partner then lifts one of their legs as high as is comfortable and rests it on the engaging partner’s chest or shoulder. The partners then adjust the angle until the new geometry feels right.
• Why It’s Actually Great: This minor anatomical adjustment dramatically alters the angle of contact, turning the standard face-to-face rhythm into something totally different and much more exciting. The lifted leg allows for deeper contact and targets internal areas that are missed in the flat position, ensuring new sensations for the receiving partner while maintaining the option for close kissing and eye contact.

III. Introducing Intensity Through Physical Constraint

These two approaches leverage physical constraint or elevation to create a uniquely tight fit or deep angle, leading to intense, focused fulfillment.

3. Close-Hold Rear Entry: The Super-Tight Fit

This style takes a familiar approach and uses a simple physical adjustment to create a completely novel and intense sensation of tightness.

• How to Achieve It: Start in the standard Rear Entry Approach. The receiving partner then presses their legs tightly together, squeezing the engaging partner. The engaging partner will need to widen their stance (placing their feet far apart) and will absolutely need moisture product for the close fit and increased friction.
• Why It’s Actually Great: This minor adjustment leads to a super tight fit and a completely different, much more intense sensation due to the increased pressure and warmth. It heightens sensation for both partners. Crucially, the receiving partner still has the freedom to touch or play with their external pleasure point for added intensity without interrupting the primary rhythm.

4. Elevated Closeness: The Thrill of Depth

Elevated Closeness requires the engaging partner to do most of the heavy lifting, allowing the receiver to focus entirely on the new, intense sensation of depth.

• How to Achieve It: The receiving partner shimmies to the edge of the bed and rests their legs on their partner’s chest, maybe hooking them over their shoulders for leverage. The partners place their hands on the receiver’s hips to help the engaging partner lift the body up and in for engagement. The engaging partner does most of the movement and support.
• Why It’s Actually Great: This style is anything but boring and offers unusual, appealing views for both of you. Most importantly, it uses gravity to its advantage, allowing for exceptionally deep contact that is difficult to achieve in horizontal positions, offering a lot of novel sensation and fulfilling the desire for an intense physical feeling.

IV. The Shared Challenge: Teamwork and Laughter

The final style focuses on the power of collaboration and humor. Sometimes, the willingness to try something difficult together is the most intimate act of all.

6. The Supported Stand: Teamwork Against Gravity

Standing closeness is tough, but adding support makes it a challenging, yet achievable, collaborative goal.

• How to Achieve It: Both partners stand near a wall or steady piece of furniture for crucial balance. The receiving partner then hikes one leg over the engaging partner’s hip. You may need to stand on something (like a low step stool or a sturdy box) to adjust for significant height differences.
• Why It’s Actually Great: Even if you don’t perfect it on the first try, the shared laughter and necessity of coordination can be a great mood booster and intimate memory. If you do manage to pull it off, you’ll feel like a victorious team—which is itself highly arousing. The shared physical challenge disrupts monotony and proves that a fun goal is sometimes exactly what’s needed to revitalize the emotional spark.

The greatest secret to a lasting, vibrant intimate life is the acceptance that it is an ongoing adventure that requires mutual curiosity and continuous novelty. Don’t let inexperience or fear of awkwardness prevent you from expanding your horizons. By focusing on connection styles that introduce new elements of control, depth, and shared challenge, you can easily restore the excitement and engagement in your relationship.

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