9 Popular Styles for Physical Intimacy Ranked by Partners for Mutual Pleasure

Men and women enjoy different things—it’s not a generalization, it’s just reality. I’ve yet to meet a partner as passionate about bite-sized snacks and high-fashion as I am. Similarly, my friends often joke about struggling to find someone who can keep up with their endless video game conversations. Of course, there’s no right or wrong way to enjoy physical connection. Physical pleasure is deeply personal and varies greatly from person to person, regardless of gender identity. As long as you and your partner practice enthusiastic consent, communicate boundaries clearly, and share pleasurable experiences, the specific style of connection doesn’t really matter. Whether it’s a Seated Embrace or a Classic Approach, what feels best for you is what counts.

That said, it can be interesting and insightful to gather opinions on favorite connection styles and look for any patterns. So, I asked 50 of my coworkers and friends—both men and women—about their preferred approaches to shared intimacy.

With this insight, I aimed to discover whether men and women truly favor different connection styles—and the results were revealing.

Take a look at this ranking from “ugh” to “oh, yes!”—their answers might surprise you.

What Women Think: Ranking Their Least to Most Favorite Connection Styles

#9. The Seated Embrace Physical connection isn’t really a time to just sit back and relax. The Seated Embrace—where partners sit facing each other, one with their legs wrapped around the other—was the least popular choice among the women surveyed. Of course, given how personal preferences are, some women might disagree. It makes sense. The approach can be tricky to get right, requiring some precise coordination—not always convenient. But according to relationship educator Lola Jean, Seated Embrace can actually offer pleasure for both partners. “Seated Embrace is great for feeling connected,” Jean tells Elite Daily. “You get to see your partner’s face and feel their breath.”

#8. Side-by-Side Closeness Jean highlights Side-by-Side Closeness as a wonderful way to bond, thanks to the close physical contact. “I like to call this ‘relaxed connection,’” she shares with Elite Daily. “It’s less demanding than other approaches but fantastic for intimacy.” And honestly, if anyone has nailed the perfect angle for Side-by-Side Closeness, please send me a message. Asking for a friend.

#7. Mutual Oral Pleasure Mutual Oral Pleasure lands at number seven on women’s favorite list. While mutual fulfillment is key, it can sometimes feel a bit awkward when your partner’s lower half is right in your face. Jean explains, “Mutual Oral Pleasure can either be an amazing shared pleasure experience or totally overwhelming, depending on the person. Some prefer focusing solely on the oral pleasure they’re receiving, while others get turned on by giving pleasure too.”

#6. The Rear Rider The Rear Rider approach ranks around the middle for women surveyed. When your partner gets an amazing view but you mainly see their feet, it tends to take away from the experience. Still, Jean points out that this approach “can be wonderful” for many of the same reasons as the traditional Rider on Top pose. Plus, if both partners have previously agreed to deeper exploration, Jean highlights that “access from behind” is an added advantage of this approach.

#5. Supported Closeness According to the results of this very informal survey, women enjoy having physical connection against a supportive surface slightly more than men do. Seriously, how does this always look so appealing in movies, but is so difficult in real life? Jean has several ideas. “Many things can contribute [to the difficulty of this approach], including variation between your heights, the angle of one’s pleasure area, and the proximity of one’s external pleasure point from their internal canal,” Jean says.

#4. Elevated Embrace Women in this survey particularly enjoy the approach where their legs are placed over their partner’s shoulders. This style not only allows for powerful external pleasure point stimulation but also doubles as a deep hamstring stretch. Keep in mind that the depth reached by the partner depends on various factors, including size and flexibility.

#3. The Rider You love the power. Your partner is under you, your legs are wrapped around them and you get to control the speed and angle. Bonus points for wrapping your hands around their neck, too. “The Rider is great for her,” Amy Levine, relationship coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Elite Daily. “She’s in the driver’s seat, controlling speed and depth of connection.” The Rider is extremely pleasurable for women and femme-identifying people, not only because of their ability to call the shots in regards to speed but also because of their ability to lean into the movement, stimulating their external pleasure point.

#2. Classic Face-to-Face Connection It might be the oldest move around, but that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. It feels great, the male or male-identifying partner does most of the work, and there’s plenty of space for using his arms to hold you close—if that’s your thing. “Classic Face-to-Face really boosts her pleasure,” Levine says. “Try placing your legs over his shoulders to target a deep internal area.” She also suggests adding pleasure devices like vibrators and keeping eye contact to enhance connection and intensify physical release.

#1. From Behind The women surveyed appreciate both taking control and surrendering it in intimate moments. There’s a unique intimacy in trusting a male or male-identifying partner enough to let them lead and take you From Behind. “From Behind can allow for deeper penetration, but it might be uncomfortable for those who prefer less depth, plus it offers less control,” Jean explains. “To mix things up, the receiving partner can take charge of the depth and pace, adding a playful twist to this classic approach.”

What Men Had To Say.

#9. The Seated Embrace Both men and women in the survey agree that the Seated Embrace approach is their least favorite. However, Jean offers some advice. “This style can be challenging when it comes to adding variety, versatility, and control,” she says. “That said, it’s an excellent opportunity to focus on synchronized breathing and subtle body movements.” When trying the Seated Embrace, it’s best to concentrate on matching your breath rather than changing the rhythm.

#8. Side-by-Side Closeness Yet another tie. Looks like men really aren’t loving Side-by-Side Closeness, either. However, if you and your partner aren’t crazy about this style, Jean offers some guidance that can make the approach more pleasurable. “Side-by-Side Closeness can be a great position for deeper penetration,” Jean says. “Or angles that target a woman’s pleasure zone, depending on the angle of your pleasure area.”

#7. Legs Raised High While the Kama Sutra might sound appealing in theory, the men and male-identifying participants in this survey agree it can be a bit too complex when it comes to the actual experience. Jean stresses that if flexibility is a challenge, it’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner to ensure the experience remains consensual and enjoyable. Even in intimate moments, honest conversation is essential.

#6. Wall Support Physical connection against a supportive surface may look exciting in films, but it can be tricky to execute in real life. Jean points out that differences in height and strength often make this approach challenging. “For couples with noticeable height differences, styles like The Rider or Cowperson tend to work much better.” So, if Wall Support isn’t quite working for you, trying The Rider might be a great alternative.

#5. The Mutual Pleasure Position If your partner enjoys the give-and-take nature of Mutual Oral Pleasure more than you do, Jean suggests it might be because “some people prefer to focus solely on the oral pleasure they’re receiving without juggling other tasks, while those who get aroused by pleasing their partner may find it enhances their experience. Deciding who takes the ‘more active’ or ‘more relaxed’ role often comes down to who enjoys being more active or more relaxed.” When it comes to Mutual Oral Pleasure, clear communication and mutual understanding are key to making it enjoyable for both partners.

#4. Backward Rider Appeal The men and male-identifying participants I spoke with agree there’s something incredibly appealing about the curve of a partner’s back in the Backward Rider approach. Jean concurs, noting, “One of the perks is the great view,” and adds, “because of the flexibility this approach requires, it’s often best suited for those whose pleasure area isn’t pointing more upward.”

#3. Rider on Top The men and male-identifying individuals I spoke with shared the same opinion: Rider on Top, where their partner faces them while on top, ranks among their favorite connection approaches. Levine explains that this style can be especially enjoyable for men because their partner controls both the movement and the pace. “Men can relax and enjoy the ride,” Levine says. While all physical connection styles require mutual engagement, Rider on Top gives female and femme-identifying partners the chance to truly take charge.

#2. Classic Face-to-Face Connection Everyone surveyed agreed that the Classic Face-to-Face Connection is one of the most satisfying. “Classic Face-to-Face is ideal for men because they control the speed and depth,” Levine explains. “Try adding a pleasure device between you as you maintain eye contact.” This style offers comfort and closeness, making it perfect for intimate connection and physical closeness with your partner.

#1. The Rear Entry Favorite Among all the men and male-identifying participants surveyed, Rear Entry took the top spot as the most pleasurable connection style. “While it’s an exciting style, Rear Entry can be tricky due to height differences and the lack of face-to-face contact,” Jean explains. “To adjust for height, either partner can try widening or closing their legs.” By working together to accommodate height and compensate for the missing eye contact, Rear Entry can be incredibly enjoyable for both partners.