Confidence and Charm: Mastering the Subtle Art of Making Women Chase You

The ultimate measure of success for men is often perceived as having women constantly lining up to pursue them. It’s simply a reality: men wouldn’t work tirelessly, accumulate massive amounts of money, or go to such great lengths for personal grooming and impressive home decor if women weren’t the motivating factor. No man has ever been aroused by owning a solid gold watch; however, they have certainly been aroused by the attention that watch can quickly draw. We are not talking about attracting an immature following; rather, this is about the daily experience of being sought after by stunning, high-caliber women.

Life’s early lessons will undoubtedly be learned eventually: most of the younger generation will soon learn how to handle their first mortgage or a bounced check. But the most crucial financial lesson to grasp is how to effectively maximize your sex appeal: you will spend about a tenth of your income courting women, roughly a third to marry one, and half your net worth to divorce her. Given such a heavy investment, it’s time you learned how to make these high-value conquests flock to you with the least possible expenditure of time and resources.

This is Dating Economics 101, Gentlemen.

Contrary to widespread belief, physical appearance is not the defining factor for success with the female demographic. Of course, a basic level of physical attraction is necessary to ignite initial interest. But a determined, methodical approach to the dating game is the real route to success.

We had the opportunity to consult with sex and relationship expert, Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. (from NYU, undergrad at UPenn), and several of the most stunning models from Ford Models LA to gain some perspective on the current dating landscape.

While every woman will have her own criteria when seeking an Elite man, there are certain defining characteristics that consistently appeal to the women you will be pursuing.

Master the Initial Encounter

Before you formulate your approach and embark on your romantic quest, please heed this advice: If you are getting one-word replies, retreat immediately.

You Get One Shot—Make It Count

There are few situations where the first impression matters more. Therefore, it is essential that you learn to control her perception of your presence. The woman you are with will silently evaluate every minute detail—including your scent, style, and way of speaking. The objective here is to avoid projecting the image she would expect from an inferior, unprepared suitor. Exude confidence without immediately boasting about your new Ferrari Italia 458—this isn’t an interview for a social club membership. By presenting as completely self-assured and secure from the start, you will become instantly magnetic to women. Make her understand that you possess depth, thereby giving her a reason to be curious.

Undervaluing Is a Mistake

Letting women chase you regrettably means you need to avoid the easy one-night stand approach. And we are not talking about totally inebriated, careless sex. Women over the age of 20 generally stop falling for cheap tactics like having watered-down shots poured for them in hopes of an effortless conquest. This only makes you appear unoriginal (and probably fresh out of college): NOT the impression you want to give. Present yourself as powerful—and powerful decisions come from a position of authority. Don’t be the easy catch, or your perceived value will diminish accordingly. Nobody idolizes the average guy. Be the Bill Clinton of the dating world.

Solidify Your Appeal

By this stage, you have firmly established her attraction. No, she’s not fully committed yet, but she is definitely intrigued. Once a woman starts thinking of you in a specific, desirable way, she is likely to continue viewing you through that lens. This step is the first crucial phase where you must prove your worth. The goal is to solidify your intelligence and value. If you adopted a specific persona during the introduction, maintain that character. However, under no circumstances should you resort to typical, uninspired questions: “Do you frequent this place?” “Are you seeing anyone?” or “Who did you come here with?” These are all immediate failures. If you believe you are elite enough to be chased by women, you must develop wit and quick thinking.

(Pro Tip: Read a few acts of Much Ado About Nothing or The Importance of Being Earnest for reference on witty banter.)

Perfect the Exit Strategy

Engage her interest, leave a memorable impression, and then walk away—physically, digitally, and socially. Timing this departure down to the second is a true art form. It is important to realize that you are constantly on the verge of spoiling everything; this is a basic principle: the longer you spend rambling while downing alcohol, the greater the chance you will come across as a typical, obnoxious club-goer. If she just left your side to catch a taxi, there is absolutely no need to immediately follow up with a series of seven-text scrolls rehashing how wonderful it was to meet her. Suppress the desperate urge to show any signs of over-eagerness.

Attentiveness Matters

Perhaps the only universally certain fact about women is that they appreciate when they are paid great attention. Not in a needy way like the girls you encountered in college, but rather a man’s ability to notice the subtle details and nuances she exhibits. So, after your initial meeting, start to get personal. Compliment her on something other than her physique; signal your interest without crudely propositioning her; mention that she appeared in your dream the other night and smoothly continue with the story. Never tell her it was a fantasy, but instead let her know that she occupies your thoughts even when she’s not present. She will become addicted to hearing more.

The Psychological Advantage

If you have reached this point, know that your execution is as flawless as Will Smith in Hitch. Even though the movie was flawed, the message is that you are 90% of the way there. This is where true mental warfare begins. Under no circumstances should you yield and profess your affection. To get women to chase you, you need to make women think about you instead of the reverse. This is a masterful application of reverse psychology.

One easy way to achieve this is: Decline or ignore any first invitations or advances you receive from a woman. Even better, make yourself appear preoccupied and in high demand. If you truly are busy, that’s even better. Tell her, “Oh, you want to get together on Friday? Hmm, I’m not sure. I have another commitment, and I don’t know if my boss will let me off.” Then, surprise her by suddenly becoming available at a critical moment.

Do this correctly, and she will be unable to stop thinking about you.

The Qualification Test

You clearly sense the flicker of a potential relationship, and now it’s time to fully light the fire. Flipping the dynamic and establishing yourself as the dominant figure is arguably the most crucial step in triggering a full-fledged chase. To get women to pursue you, you must reverse the roles. That means making women qualify themselves to you. In other words, take control of the situation by framing yourself as the selector. This can be as simple as asking, “What makes you more interesting than the other women I’ve dated?” Or, “What are three qualities a guy would genuinely like about you, and please don’t mention looks.” Deliver this in a slightly sarcastic, playful manner, and women will be instantly drawn deeper into the conversation, guaranteed.

Strategic Cockiness

Once you have secured their trust and attention, it’s time to add fuel to the flame. This is not a signal to disrespect her in any way, but the basic fact is: If you can make a beautiful woman laugh, you can persuade her to do anything. This is a psychological reality. So, make a woman laugh, and no matter how inaccessible she seems, she will be attracted to you because of the positive feelings you create within her—feelings she simply cannot disregard.

Maintain Your Mystery

When you first met this attractive young woman, your goal was not to be an open book. You can maintain this by simply not introducing yourself until she asks your name or by utilizing the power of “maybe.” Tell her, “Look, I need to get back to my friends, but maybe I’ll see you later.”

The takeaway: Suspense and mystery are the cornerstones of generating attraction.

Let Her Close the Deal

There is no feeling quite like waking up with a sense of gratification and achievement as the gorgeous stranger—whom you initially thought you had no chance with—sleeps peacefully beside you. By this stage, you’re fighting the urge to revert to your old pushy self, right? The same guy we saw awkwardly trying to grope a discerning woman at every opportunity. Yes, we’ve all seen that behavior. But for some reason, it seems your entire aura has transformed. You are no longer the clumsy goof catcalling drunk women trying to hail cabs.