For better or worse, a man enters into matrimony with a woman. They approach marriage with an open mind and make every effort to ensure that everything runs smoothly from the beginning.
Occasionally, though, we learn about someone who is surprised as they get closer to the altar. It’s not usually the most pleasant thing to find out, and it’s something that frequently arises at the last minute.
The woman in the following story discovered it, but it was almost too late. She went on Reddit to get advice after learning that her husband didn’t want her to wear white to the wedding. This is the tale of them:
I’ve been engaged for the last eight months and have been with my fiancé for six years. The majority of the wedding planning has been done by me, but occasionally my fiancé Ryan will provide his advice.
About a month ago, Ryan abruptly announced that he thought I shouldn’t wear a white dress after speaking with a few of his coworkers. I thought this was rather strange. Since Ryan is a really creative guy, I assumed that this had more to do with the outcome of the pictures or something like, but I’m determined to wear white. I could sense he was irritated when I told him this, but he ignored it.
I ultimately decided on and paid for my outfit two weeks ago, which sparked a heated disagreement. Ryan came to me again, obviously irritated. I told him no, wanting the dress to be a surprise for our wedding day, until he asked to view it. When I told him it was white, he became quite upset with me and wanted me to at least tell him what color it was.
Since practically everyone wears white on their wedding day, I fail to see why this was such a big deal. He advised me to wear red when I asked him what color he felt I should wear. Again, I thought this was rather strange. He reminded me that brides wear white only when they are pure, which is why I would wear red at our wedding.
To provide some context, Ryan and I began dating at age 21. He recently turned 20. When we first met, he was a virgin, and the only other person I had in high school was my four-year ex-boyfriend. This led to numerous issues. He felt so insecure the first year of our relationship that we nearly stopped dating. I suppose it was never an issue again after that first year.
He told his mother about it all in the hopes that she would persuade me, but she supports me. So, two nights ago, Ryan, his mother, and I got into a heated argument in our living room over my sexual life being exposed through a clothing. He started crying when his mother told him that because he was no longer a virgin, perhaps he should wear red too. Ryan continues to insist that me dressing in white would be misleading the visitors and that things are different for men.
To be honest, all of this has made me wonder if I should even marry this man. I’m absolutely repulsed by him; perhaps this is just because everything is so new. I know this is just about him thinking about me losing my virginity at the age of eighteen, before I even knew him, because he’s not even religious. I had to vent to everyone about how insane he is.
The majority of respondents concur that Ryan’s way of thinking is perplexing and that there is a strong element of unavoidable uneasiness in this. They claim that Ryan still seems to be punishing OOP for having sex before they met, which is absurd. This is his attitude toward virginity; what about his treatment of any future daughters? OOP is urged to end their relationship with Ryan.
OOP remains silent. But still…
R/dating_advice UPDATE
(24 November 2022)
For my first “first date” in six years, what should I wear?
I recently called off an engagement; I’m in my late 20s. I’ve never gone on a date like this in a very long time. We’re heading to a lovely seafood restaurant in North Carolina on the waterfront. It’s a beach, but it’s also November, so I’m not sure what would be suitable.
Leave a Comment