My ex-husband’s fiancée said I am ‘heartless’; am I wrong for not feeling sympathy for her?

This woman was determined to establish boundaries between her ex-husband and his new lover after their marriage ended. She made multiple attempts to distance herself from the new couple, yet she was still called cold-hearted.

A woman on Reddit made an emotional confession about her experience trying to set firm boundaries with her ex-husband while also managing the difficult task of co-parenting.

The marriage of a 36-year-old woman and her 35-year-old husband, Tom, terminated when he had an affair with Tammy, a woman he met at work. While she was significantly pregnant with her youngest child, the Redditor reported meeting Tammy at a business function. Tammy gave her the warning, “Better up your wife game, or I might steal him off you.” Her husband left her for Tammy three months later.

As Tammy was helping Tom pack his belongings in her home, she made an effort to talk to him about their future together now that she would be living with the Redditor. The Redditor was happy that Tammy had taken her husband off her hands, even if she later clarified that her earlier warning had been a jest. “She’s only twenty-three, so her brain isn’t fully developed,” my ex said. She remarked, “I got the ick so bad it turned my relief from heartbreak.”

The Redditor’s husband was found cheating, thus the divorce process wasn’t too difficult. She ultimately won the entire divorce and agreed to share custody 50/50. The mother wanted to maintain a cordial relationship with her ex for the benefit of the children.

As a result, the ex-couple could go to events together without having arguments. Tammy eventually began to assist with picking up the kids. Despite this, Tammy would go above and beyond to elicit a response from the mother, even though they maintained a friendly connection.

Tammy went so far as to invite the Redditor to be a bridesmaid and for her daughters to be involved at one of the pickups, all while flaunting her engagement ring.

The 36-year-old, however, showed little interest in the event and gave Tammy very little response when she talked about it. She was likewise eager to get her cat to the veterinarian. However, she later learned from her husband that Tammy was disappointed in her lack of enthusiasm.

In a another instance, Tammy revealed that she was expecting, and she became upset when the Original Poster (OP) failed to respond the way she had wanted. The Redditor commented, “I’m sure Lord Tom’s excited for an heir to take over his lands and titles,” after she revealed to her a few months later that they were expecting a son. But Tammy didn’t think her joke was humorous.

When they were performing drop-offs in December, the two women had last seen one another. The Redditor saw that Tammy was no longer pregnant when they crossed paths. “We lost the baby,” Tammy replied, her eyes welling with grief.

Once more, she did not receive the sympathy she had hoped for from the Redditor. She added, “I didn’t answer; I just told Tom our oldest daughter has gymnastics at 5 and our second daughter has a birthday party tomorrow at 3.”

For Tammy, this was the last straw. She yelled at the original poster, labeling her as “bitter” and “heartless.” Additionally, her ex-husband informed her that, given that the upset woman was the stepmother of her children, she ought to have shown some empathy for her.

However, since their children were the only thing that brought them together, the Redditor did not feel as though she owed the pair her sympathy. She said again, “I told Tom I don’t care about what he’s going through because I don’t care about them outside of our kids and I don’t owe Tammy anything, especially pity.”

The OP would not have been disturbed by what Tom had to say about her under any other circumstances, but she began to wonder if her reaction to Tammy was correct when her former in-laws also advised her to have been warmer to her.

Nonetheless, other commenters did not believe that the original poster was incorrect to wish to establish boundaries between Tammy and her ex. However, many felt Tammy was making an excessive effort to become friends with the Redditor—especially in light of what she had done to her.

“NTA,” a commentator said. You don’t need to assist her in any way. Co-parenting with your ex is the issue at hand. I find it strange that she is disclosing intimate facts about her life; she must be alone or something, but it is not the matter for you.

Since their relationship had ended, many Redditors felt it was crucial that the OP keep her personal life apart from her ex. All they needed to focus on was preserving a good atmosphere for their kids and their co-parenting relationship.

She’s received praise from other commenters for her poise and tact in addressing the situation.

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