Family customs are deeply ingrained and can occasionally be passed down from one generation to the next. By continuing the tradition, we pay tribute to the people who came before us and assist those who will follow in their footsteps.
That’s exactly what transpired in the Reddit article that was shared. It told the story of a mother who gave her daughter a ring that had been in the family for a very long period.
The aunt’s disagreement with the actions taken was the issue. After deciding to act independently, the girl’s mother is now debating whether or not she went too far in defending the custom.
I apologize in advance; I’m on my phone and have never written here before.
X (30m) and I (28f) were married ten years ago. He was the only parent of Lily, an 11-month-old girl, at the time. Before their walk every Saturday, we used to go out to eat, and finally, I started working at the bakery he would frequent. I legally adopted Lily shortly after we were married, which was six years ago.
It is customary in my family for the oldest daughter to get an antique sapphire ring on her eleventh birthday. Since all of my relatives are men, the ring belonged to my grandmother, who donated it to my aunt, who then gave it to me. Since Lily is my eldest daughter, I gave her the ring for her 11th birthday a few months ago. More than anything, she adores that ring. To help her keep better track of it, she put it on a chain to wear around her neck. In the months that she has had it, I have never seen her remove it.
Mia, my sister (24f), is one of Lily’s best friends. Lily adores her aunt, and occasionally Mia texts X and me to let us know that she is picking Lily up from school to go shopping, have dinner, or something similar. I merely urged her to be cautious, have fun, and make sure my daughter arrived home at a reasonable time because it was a school night when I received one of those texts from Mia the other day. We finished dinner about an hour after Lily arrived home, and she hardly even said hi to me or her dad before heading up to her bed.
He and I didn’t ask her what was wrong right away since I assumed she was just weary, but later that evening I went to check on her just to make sure.
She had been crying as I walked into her room. I asked her what was wrong, and after a minute or so she explained that Mia had taken the ring from her, claiming that since I had adopted her, she wasn’t truly family and that it belonged to the “actual” oldest daughter. I spent the remainder of the evening telling Lily that she is a member of my family and that she is my “actual” oldest daughter, regardless of what our DNA may indicate or what other people may think. This is the only reason I didn’t go to Mia’s apartment that evening to get it.
The following morning, I called Mia and left a voicemail asking her to return the ring before I drove over to pick it up myself. She texted me, offering to hold it safe until I gave it back to “the wrong person” and would only give it to me if I became a mother before she did. I then threatened to contact the police and report the ring stolen if she didn’t return it by 2 p.m. that day.
She began to text nonstop, complaining that I was overdoing it and being foolish. Our mother, who is also aware of the situation, believes that Mia was merely following family customs and that declaring, “I’d contact the police,” was overly dramatic.
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