10 Women Reveal Why They’ve Chosen to Stay Single — And Their Reasons Might Surprise You

The journey toward defining a relationship—or choosing to forgo one entirely—is profoundly personal. Everybody harbors various expectations for the future when it comes to dating and commitment: some people wholeheartedly pursue marriage, others choose to remain single, and still others spend decades in loving partnerships without ever planning to tie the knot. This diversity in choice highlights a significant cultural shift, particularly among women, who are increasingly choosing to prioritize personal fulfillment, financial autonomy, and intentional living over traditional marital norms.

In fact, official statistics underscore this trend. The percentage of American adults who do not live with a spouse or partner increased from 39 percent in 2007 to 42 percent in 2017, according to the Pew Research Center. More dramatically, 61% of persons under 35 did not have a spouse or partner as of 2017, marking a noticeable decrease from 56% a decade earlier. This shift indicates that single individuals are not merely alone—this trend is significantly gaining traction as a normalized, celebrated choice.

Naturally, there is no single right or wrong decision when it comes to marriage; each individual must determine the path that aligns best with their values and happiness. Relationship expert and psychologist Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, notes that an increasing number of individuals are opting to remain single. “For some, the decision to avoid repeating bad experiences is a deliberate one, influenced by their own and their parents’ broken relationships.” She further explains that remaining single is often tied to deeply held convictions: not wanting children, not believing in the concept of “The One,” and retaining one’s paramount sense of independence, freedom, and control over one’s own life and resources.

Hall summarizes the philosophy: “Most people are content and happy being single, so there’s no need to complicate things and ruin what’s working.” Indeed, the reasons women choose to forgo marriage are distinct, complex, and often surprisingly practical. Below, ten women share their compelling, unique motives for not wanting to be married.

I. Philosophical & Emotional Rejection of the Institution

For some women, the decision to remain unmarried stems from a deep, personal rejection of marriage as a concept, viewing it as either a financial extravagance, an outdated ritual, or an emotionally restrictive commitment.

1. Elisa, 28: Marriage as a Title and a Joke

Elisa’s resistance to marriage is rooted in observing the frequent failures of the institution around her. “I grew up in a (normal) happy family, but many of my friends were from divorced houses. Naturally, throughout the years, I’ve witnessed a lot of people cheat or be cheated on, so I don’t think it makes sense to stick with someone forever, even in such circumstances.”

While she accepts marriage for those who celebrate it, she personally views it as simply “a title and a joke.” A few years ago, she came close to marriage, but the thought of the binding commitment bothered her immensely. She highlights the financial absurdity: “I also don’t intend to be married because of the associated expenses, attire, locations, food and drink, and rings; it all simply seems too frivolous to constitute a ‘love commitment.'”

2. Stefanee, 28: The Misogyny of the Ritual

Stefanee, who has been with her girlfriend for over four years, finds the tradition of marriage structurally problematic, viewing it through a feminist lens. “Not only is the custom of marriage extremely archaic, but it is also rife with misogyny.”

She argues that the traditional heterosexual proposal ritual—asking the woman’s parent(s) for permission—is an act that effectively treats the woman “like a property.” This is then compounded when the man goes on to “buy” her off by promising her a costly gift—a ring—in exchange for her lifelong allegiance and last name. Beyond the cultural misogyny, Stefanee feels that her partnership with someone else should not entail state legislation. While she is happy to celebrate the love of friends and relatives, she concludes: “I don’t find marriage to be romantic, and it’s not a custom I choose to follow.”

3. Hazel, 31: The Value of the Paper

Hazel, who is in a loving same-sex partnership, feels that even with the hard-won right to marry, the ritual holds no appeal. “My girlfriend and I don’t want to be married, even if we can (finally!) get married.”

Their motive is twofold and pragmatic: “We both think that we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that we’re devoted to one other.” Furthermore, they cite the financial inefficiency of the ceremony: “we would rather to use the money we would have spent on a celebration for anything else!” Their commitment is defined by their actions and relationship, not a legal certificate.

4. Leslie, 39: Happiness is the Only Title Needed

Leslie has been with her fiancé for a decade and, despite being engaged, has no intention of marrying. She became engaged simply to see how the title and status would feel. “It feels very different to me from what it feels like to be a boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other. I’ve been really enjoying the increased sense of love and dedication, and I have all the titles I need right now.”

For Leslie, the practical and emotional risks outweigh the perceived benefits. She simply does not want to marry: “it’s not something I need to do or want to do in my life.” She also recognizes her own limitations regarding the stress of the ceremony: “I don’t feel comfortable hosting a costly or lavish celebration in my honor since I know I couldn’t manage the stress of organizing a ‘perfect day.’ […] all I want is to be happy.”

II. Autonomy & Lifestyle: The Freedom of Un-Tethered Living

Many women choose to remain unmarried because the traditional structure of marriage conflicts directly with a lifestyle built on extreme independence, travel, or career focus.

5. Kelly, 56: The Digital Nomad and Global Citizen

Kelly has built an entire, unconventional life that is fundamentally incompatible with the domestic stability marriage usually requires. “I’ve been traveling full-time for the past nine years.” Her unique job involves housesitting for others—often for free—in exchange for accommodation, allowing her to live in different places globally.

Her travels are extensive: “London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Gibraltar, all across Africa, Hanoi, Osaka, Kuala Lumpur, and even the Chinese town of Ya’an!” She currently housesits every spring in Mexico. This fantastic lifestyle, she asserts, “would be really challenging if I were married.” Having never been married, she has no intention of stopping her solitary global exploration now.

6. Angela, 33: The Happy Solitary Nomad

Angela, who grew up as an only child, expresses a deep-seated comfort with solitude and self-reliance. “Being an only kid growing up, I’ve never really felt the need or want for a spouse.” She has experienced profound relationships but remains happiest when she is entirely on her own.

Like Kelly, she is a digital nomad, and she genuinely believes that adding a partner to her highly mobile, independent life would simply complicate everything. Her choice is driven by a genuine preference for her own company and the frictionless nature of solitary travel.

7. Nina, 30: Freedom from Patriarchal Definition

Nina’s decision is a conscious rebellion against powerful cultural expectations that sought to define her worth exclusively through marital status. “People are usually rather surprised to hear that I am a Christian of Nigerian heritage when I tell them that I have no desire to get married.”

She notes that in both these deeply patriarchal cultures, marriage and motherhood are viewed as the ultimate forms of femininity, often eclipsing any other accomplishments a woman may have. This created a profound sense of pressure: “I grew up seeing many female role models give up on their aspirations, remain in violent marriages, or function from a place of low self-worth.” For Nina, marriage came to represent “imprisonment, limitation, and identity loss.” She echoes the sentiment of author Jessica Knoll: “my fairy tale ending involved a pantsuit, not a wedding dress, ever since I was a little girl.” Her success is measured by her hard-won freedom.

III. Practical & Financial Concerns: The Risk of Merging Lives

For many, the decision to remain unmarried is a cautious, pragmatic move to protect their personal finances, assets, and established professional identities.

8. Christine, 35: The Burden of Debt

Christine’s reason is purely pragmatic and protective. She has built financial stability and is unwilling to compromise it for a legal title. “I would have to inherit my partner’s debt if we were to get married. Thank you not at all.”

Her stance is clear: “Our funds should be kept entirely apart, please.” For Christine, the legal and financial entanglement of marriage represents a unacceptable risk to her personal resources and economic stability.

9. Shannyn, 31: Protecting Identity and Assets

Shannyn was previously engaged but called it off due to a partner’s dishonesty. Now in a great relationship, she still rejects marriage, having learned the painful costs of entanglement. “I recently purchased my first home—it’s mine!” she asserts, valuing her sole ownership.

Furthermore, she protects her professional identity: “I have a reputation that includes degrees from my previous name, which I don’t want to change now that I’m older than thirty.” As long as she maintains financial separation, she is content and happy: “Financially speaking, marriage wouldn’t improve our situation, and I haven’t been able to find any evidence to support the advantages it would have for us other than emotional ones.”

10. Kaley, 31: Achievement Through Shared Assets, Not Ceremony

Kaley has been with her partner for nine years and they share a deep commitment, but she actively dismisses marriage. They have chosen to define their commitment through shared, tangible assets instead of a ceremony. “This year, buying a house together has seemed like our interpretation of marriage or a wedding. It seems like a greater accomplishment and a significant turning point than being married could ever be.”

She emphasizes that her partner is not “dragging his feet”; she is the one who led the charge in rejecting marriage. Her independence, cultivated partly through a long-distance portion of their relationship, is key. She concludes: “We trust each other completely and know each other so well that I’m sure being married wouldn’t push us into a closer or more personal relationship. I wouldn’t feel any more ‘taken care of’ or ‘safer’ if I were married to him.”

Conclusion: The Rise of Intentional Singlehood

The diverse reasons shared by these women reveal that the decision to remain unmarried is driven by sophisticated, modern priorities: financial stability, intellectual freedom, conscious objection to patriarchal traditions, personal comfort with solitude, and a deep commitment to non-traditional, self-defined achievement. The growing number of individuals opting to remain single, or committed but unmarried, suggests a positive movement toward self-determination. As relationship expert Hall notes, the single life is often defined by contentment and happiness, eliminating the need to complicate a situation that is already working perfectly well.

10 Women Reveal Why They’ve Chosen to Stay Single — And Their Reasons Might Surprise You

I. Philosophical & Emotional Rejection of the Institution

1. Elisa, 28: Marriage as a Title and a Joke