Dirty Joke: A married man nearly had an affair with another lady.

“I almost had an affair with another woman,” a married man told his priest as he entered the confessional. Saying, “What do you mean, almost?” the priest said. “Well, we got undressed, naked, and rubbed together, but then I stopped,” the man stated. “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,” the priest remarked. That woman is not to be seen by you again. Put $50 in the poor box and recite five Hail Marys as your penance.

After saying his prayers and exiting the confessional, the man went to the poor box. After a little pause, he began to walk away. “I saw that, you didn’t put any money in the poor box,” the observant priest hurried over to him. “Yes, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!” was the man’s response.